060516 Kimbrook Cleaning etc
May 16, 2006, 10:27 AM
I had a very restless night and in the morning, a series of interesting and disturbing dreams. One of the last ones I had was very disturbing. I am in some house which is apparently my house and my brothers and family are all there. There's a little girl, blondish, maybe four years old, that belongs to someone, a great deal of warmth and love and some general weirdness. Suddenly I realize that I've been gone two weeks and haven't fed the animals. A terrible thrill of fear and guilt runs through me. Then I realize I haven't been out to the barn to feed the animals in months. I decide I need to go out and look. Rita and some other offer to go out with me, but I explain about the possible dead animals and who knows what state they'll be in (I visualize skeletons, maggots, and maybe some still alive but suffering terribly) and I want to go out first by myself. I am so disturbed by this that I wake up.
I've had this dream (or one like it) numerous times before. Not sure what animals I'm not feeding.
In another dream, slightly earlier, where I run into Ron in some large parklike place (sort of liek Cranbrook, only different). I am thrilled to see him and give him a hug and tell him I'm getting married June 10 and he says he is, too. I say I'm getting married there, and he says he wantedto but was unable to reserve it andIsay I hope I didn't take his slot. We talk. A woman comes along to do somereseach in apond and goes into the water to look at some creatures on the rocks and I want to look at them too. Several toher things like this happen
I had a bad bad night, but need to do some work now.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006, 6 PM. I am out walkinga t Radisson, Erin is at my house waiting for the roofers. I didn't want to be there when they came. It's sunny but cool and breezy.
I went shopping for trip food and started aload of laundry of clothes I need for the trip and sorted piles of stuff under cardtable in the kicthen. I did NOT post a new picture on betterphoto today.
I had a bad night last night. Ironically, I went to bed fairlyr elaxed and happy because I've been sleeping better lately and had no indication Iwas going to have a bad night. Instead of drifting off to sleep and getting a reasonable sleep, I tossed and turned and lay awake for hours with the heebie-jeebies where i was unbearably restless and my skin itched and was cralwing like bugs were on me. I tangled the bed clothes and my hair came unriadedand I lost the hairband and it was jsut a reallyy bad night. I had trouble getting going in themorningand didn't accomplsih as much as Iwanted to. I never do, but it was even worse than usual.
I'm in the woods,and it's buggy and there are birds isnging and painted trillium in flower. Canada mayflower in flower. Cinamon fern looking cinomony.
I'm on an invisible, trail, okay! It's imaginary, too. Iambushwhacking, and know gerally where Iwant to go andhow to get there, but there's no trail at all and never has been, notin the last 25 years anyway.
Burdened with all my gear and my own great weight, I walk across a wetland on a rotting log. Hope not to fall into the balc mud while mosquitoes hum in my ear and land on my face.
The thrushes and veeries are going nuts.
The ferns are nearly unfolded, royal ferns, mushferns, NY ferns, cinmon ferns. Christmas ferns. Sensitive ferns. I cannot walkthrough thus rich woods without trmapling soft young ferns and poison ivy and wildflowers.
I've comeout in the Thornbird field where the thornbirds (shrikes) used to impale their victims (mice and voles) on the throns of the thrnapples for later eating. The sun is shining and a breeze cuts the mosquitoes some.. Off in the distance down the fox hunt lane, I think I see another person walk8ing and alter my route.
I head back into the Thornbird Field where the grass and weeds are already more than a foot tall, head west into the sun. I'm going to rish the phragmites berm trail which has been impassably wet. I hope Idon't get stranded and have to retrace the entire route.
The phragmites berm trail is likely to be ultra buggy.
In the thornbird field, thereare young ashes, maples,birches coming up, and lots of sensitivern, but I've only seen one thronapple.
The Phragmites berm trail is looking well used, with bike tarcks, human tracks, and deer track. The bugs are ferociousthough, so I don't stop for foamflower in flower or chokecherry in flower.S
Oh-oh! I've walked half ofmy designated walk time, but I think I ammore than halfway back. From the juntion of the Phagmites berm trail with Potter road, it's ten minutes back to the car. Well, we'll see. I guess I should have walked a little farther down fox hunt road.
From inside the woods, on the Phregmites berm trail,Isee two women walking on the road that instersects with Potter road here, whatever it is. I hear nearby scary screams like someone sufferening something terrible and wonder if I should stay in the woods I take a few pictures of white trillium turning pink and of the swamp. Including some wasted ones where a halfway focus turned into an inadvertant shot. When I comeout,no one is around. Iam ten minutes from the car but have to walk 18 more minutes. I guess I should walk four minutes into 3R on Potter Road.
Stop, Drop, and roll
My friend jo(e) lives at the edge of the woods on a back road in train track village. I stopped to see her the other day; she's one ofmy favorite people. We took a stroll through her woods, ate a delcious lunch, and the set out to do reiki. She had a chest cold and I have a brain tumor
In her generosity, she did me first. I lay on my back on her massage table and she lit a candle and washed her hands and did some ritual prayer, and then she put her hands on me. They werecold at firstfromthe washing,but soon the heat of healing beganto flow.
(tower mustrad in flower!)
(I'm feeling sad about leaving this place!)
(Thorn apple in flower.)
(The body moving the eyes and mind through space often strikes me as a miracle. Well, it is a miracle! It's a beautiful day and my eyesand themind behind them watching, moves through sunshinepatches and and dappled green and the yellows of dandelions and post robbins and garlic mustards and poofy dandelions and puddles reflecting the canopy and sky. and past garbage,too, because some people son't seem to have an awareness of the beauty and miraculousness of the forest, the periwinkles and the jays shouting at me for invading their space, and theflycatchers, too.
Just when I get onto the trail that leads deep into drowned owl woods, it is timeto turn and head back to the car and Ineed to do that and put the old nose to the grandstone!)
jo(e) started on my head, where the tumor is, and it felt warm and relaxing and comforting and healing. She spent a lot of timethere and it felt great, then moved on to treat the rest of my body with gentle healing warmth.
When she finished with me,it was my turn to treat her. Is tarted with her head, giving speacial attention to her sinuses. Then Isat beside the candle to get my body inposition to apply heat to the top of her head. This crown reiki tends to mmove down through the body healing everything in it's path and is very soothing.
I could really feel the heat gathing in my hands, and as often happens, my whole body and beingwarmed to the task. I got hotter and hotten until I felt like I was burning.
OUCH! I really was burning. Iwas on fire! I had leaned into the reiki candle andmy shirt had caught on fire!
I hate to stop a reiki treatment in themiddle,but I said, "I'm on fire," or soemthing equally inane, and atemted to put it out by smothering it in the shirt, but it was too big already, so Iwent to the sink and pulled the flaming shirt over my head and doused it.
The flames flying past my face and hair frightened a little, but I didn't know waht else to do.
"Stop, drop and roll," jo(e) said. That was what Iwas supposed to do, but with the massage table in the middle of the room, there wasn't anywhere to roll anyway and the flameswere out and my shirt was soaked.
So Iwent back to the reiki. When I moved on down her body, I also gave extra energyto her chest, because she'd been coughing all morning.
It was certainly one of the most exciting reiki treatments I'd ever given.
xxxx
When Iwalked out of the Phragmites berm trail, both feet at different points, wet into the black soup of mud and swampwater deeper than the top of mysnow mocs.
I am missing an itemofclothing thatIwnated to wear to Detroit and can't figure out where itis. This is Tuesday and I am leaving Friday and seems silly to obsess about it. On the other hand, I know how busy amand will be and quicklytimeflies and I don't want to be freaking out Fridaymorning when Ineed to take mymother to the docor's office trying to find things I need. Iwnat to get myducks in a row ahead.
I'm still out here with the dandelions and garlic mustards and mosquitoes, just slapped one on my breast, ouch! But I'm already worrying about the next thigs I need to do when I get home. Put the laundry in the dryer make dinner. Find the things I need for the trip. Organize. stuff.
7:14 PM I somehow walked 50 minutes, oh well. When Ileft, Erin was at the house tomeet the roofers. Hope the roofers are gone when I get back.
7:24 PM no one in my driveway, phew!
Another thing I have to do is to seeif what'shis name next doorwill mow my lawn while Iam goneand give him money. I haven't had to do that all winter.
I'll have to give him a lot of money, too, since I'll probably be gone a MONTH. That's $600 and I have to hope he'savaoiable. Might be even more if I have to get someone else.
5:18 PM Wednesday, May 17, 2006, Well, I'm out walking in the rain again. In less than a month, I'll be married.
So I walk out two minutes or so and it's raining ahrder and harder, so I go back to the car, put on a jacket and leave all my gear except the camera, which I put in the day pack. Last time, I carred my gear and it rained too hard ti use it. By the time I gotback to the car, my shoulders realy hurt and I hadn't take a single picture. So I left the gear to protect my shoulders.
Now the rain has dwindled again. And I forgot to turn the watch on so I probably walked 4 or so untimed minutes.
I did finally go over and give Adam next door $60 to mow the lawn for the month I'll be gone. I gave him $60 in CASH which means my cash supply is low again.
5:28 PM 7 minutes into the walk, therain has stopped and I'm all sweaty. I stop and take off my coat and hat. Of course, now I could take pictures, but I don't have my gear.
Lots of choke cherries in flower and the firstdames rockets! pretty pretty!
no shadows today,no sun!
Wild strawberriess still abundantly flowering.
Tulip trees must be in flower or nearly so. I don't see any yet, but I do see their floral bud scales on the ground.
I smell a msuky animalsmell,woodchucks, maybe, or deer.
I amwalking throuh a maple forest and the canopy is already thick, like summer, almmost, but still not dark summer green yet.
Tulip trees, the tallest hardwoods in eastern north America, used to be used formasts of old taimesailing ships, along with white pine. But not very shade tolerant. Here in the maple forests, the leaves and branches that might bear flowers are so high Ican't see them. No binoculars today, either.
Now it smells like balsam,because I am coming into the Christmas tree dumping area.
I see some dames rocks in garlic mustard that lookpretty to me so I take off theback pack,get out thhe camera and take a picture or two. I no sooner get it put away and back on my back when I see piles of pine cones,so I get it out again. Since it isn't raining any more and in fact, a thin sun us peeping out, I leave the camera out. So I'm carrying the camera slung over an empty backpack.
I seean animal in the woods,running along,but decide it is probably just a calico cat. I hear someweird woodlandnoises, a gurgling drumming sort of sound. Then I hera it again, but I don't know what it is.
And again. Their are flowers in the woods, but Ican't see what they are and can't reach them because I'm on the edge of a cliff, to walk there would takemore time than I have avaialble. I feel curious and frustrated,and the weird noise keeps recurring too. I'd like to investigate, but cannot.
The cliff I cannot descend is the edge of the landfill and full of such a tangle whole trees that it would be dangerous and foolhard to attempt to climb down and the dropoff is maybe 15 or more feet down.
Now the sun is shinng and there are actual shadows, but it is shining through ahole in thick black clouds, so it probably won't last long.
I just saw a tent caterpillar at least 2inches long crawling along the ground. Big fast! Evening Lichnis or night-flowering catchfly in flower.
I skirt around the bottom of the landfill and boy am I glad I didn't try and climb over the edge. I get close enoughto see that the white flowers at white dames rockets at the aedge of the woods and that the drumming, which nowsounds more like drumming, is probably a woodpecker (?), though not a woodpecker drilling for bugs, but some kind of communicative drumming (territorial?) this is just atheory. It is not the sameinsistent sound they make when drilling for grubs. Slower, softer, and short, and with spaces between as if listening.
Ollie has started turning itself on and taking pictures of the ceiling and the inside of my pcket again today, and Sylvia has started shuttin herself off in themiddle of sentences and idon't notice and keep writing and have to rewrite several time.
IThere goes Sylvia again! Aieee! Iwasosmadat Ollie that Iwnated to drive to thenearestcheap store and buy anew pocket camera. She takes pictures when she wants to but not when I want her to!
I need to talk to Keith about fixing the broken Psions. If he's not going to so it, I'm going to send a couple of them to be repaired.
6:09 Pm I tried and tried to get Ollie towork totake a vipers bugloss that was in a position that I couldn't get with eeyore, but ollie wouldn't work. She took several pictures of the inside of my pocket, but none of the bugloss. So then I tried holding eeyre, wishing I could turn on the screen. There MUST be a way. Meanwile, I took piles of crappy shots and finally gave up and forgot to turn my watch off so that'll make up for the earlier wlaking where I forgotto turn it on! Maybe.
Ifinally took Ollies battery out. I didn't bring Oly withme, the oldolympus, because Ollie has been working fine. For quite a while, after a longspell of being bad.
I am, by the way, at Radisson, did i mention that? I'm passing the trailer storage area. I'm not allowing myself to go very far because I have so much to do. I am missing my annual pilgramdeges to Labroador pond to see the Pinkster in flower and to Morgan hill to see the stemless yellow violet, viola rotundifoliaand to baltimore woods and Highland Forest etc. Which is all very sad because once i get moved to Detroit Iwon't be going to those places and there's nowhere like that near GPFs!
WAHN!
I accidentally zeroed my watch out at 40:44 and have since walked 5:39 so I probably have got my 45minutes. I can see the car now,I'll be there in a few minutes.
I'm going to go get gas. Then hopefully top it off tomorrow night. I'll stll be down, because I have to take my mother to the doctor's beforeleaving for Detroit.
$29.47 gas. I'm getting itnow because tomorrow will be VERY busy. In case I runout of time, I'll have enoughto start out on Friday.
6:41, home. Now, I'm going tomakemeatloaf and cookies. I haven't had any cookies since I came back from Detroit, I like to have lots ofmunches when I am driving and I wishmy voicerecorder was morerelevant to my needs.
Wrote 12 invitations tonight. Keith wrote 27.
-- I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats
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