• Yesterday's journal: doctor list and grattitude list etc.
• look up the brain tumor story on NPR?
• back up photos and poems on Toby!
• look up Egaz Moniz
• look up The Book Thief, by Michael ?
The Drowned Owl Trail
Sunday, March 2, 2006, 1:53 PM oops, no,it's 2:53 daylight savings. Urgh! I'm at the head of the Drowned owl trail in my car getting readyto walk. It's a beautiful sunny day full of peeper din and crow calls. I'm feeling very sad because I wish to be walking somewhere else like Morgan Hill maybe, I don't know. I was to be somewhere prettier andmore photogenic. But I have so much work to do that I feel as if I can't spare the timeto drive somewhere farther. So it's 3R which is at least better than the neighborhood. Is it delightful today, what a joy to simply have sunshine and peeper after snow and cold and clouds.
Even three Rivers,which yesterday was deserted, is full of people. I chose the drowned owl trail because no one was here. A woman drivinga huge SUV just arrived and looked longing at the area but turned around andleft. Iwouldn'thave minded if sheparked on the other side andwalked away with the dog I dislike it when people arrive where I am "camped" and hang out.
I was listening to Selected Shorts but I turned it off because a mean story came on. The rest of it was pretty good. I generally feel more creative verbally when I listen to music or silence than NPR talk radio,but I like the talk radio because it's the only way I know what's going on in the world. Plus I generally like selected shorts in particular, for the creative writerly aspect..
I have a picture due, three pictures, actually, tomorrow. The SEASON/SPRING theme pictures for PHOTIQUES are due tomorrow. 3 of them. The outakes are due today and Tuesday.
All these photograoups are too much to keep track of. My lifeis already too complicated.
And I have other things to deal with!
I have not turned TOBY on at all today, and this is the first time Sylvia's been on. Sylvia is the Psion the broke into pieces and I wish Keith would look at her and see if he can help her, she's still not feeling up to par..
I was up until after 5 AM last night (but that includes the time change). Couldn't sleep. I mean up,not even inbed. No dozing,nothing.
No working, either. Iwas reallly tired. I generally domy best workafter a goodnight's sleep. The tireder I get,the harderthe work is. I cant think what do do with things It's likemy brain goes to sleep but my body is stll awake..
I read my before walking Patrick Lawler poem. I reread the one about eviscerating the brain. It resonates for me. don't like the idea of a tumor growing in y brain. I am glad it is small and nonmlignant, but it might still be able to kill me or render me avegetable. I don'twant it there.
Then I read about Donald Trump and the mall. It remindsmeof that series I'v been working on.
Season. This is not a prettu placein a photogenic sense. If Iwanted to be serious about taking season pictures, I need to think about and go out looking. But I really should not. Takes time.
I look at day lilies and mossy rocks and logs. The lighting's bad,there'scontrasty shadows. I supose I cold use fll flash.
A man and his son arrive while I'm contemplating pictures and go down the trail I'd intened to take. Dang. The boy looks to be about 7 or 8. They are in training for a backpacking trip.
I find a pair of woman's underwear and a ripped blouse. The other day,I found a bra. These things disturb me.
I loook at a various possiblephotos and take none.
Poking around looking for signsof spring, I find a deerskulland then someribs. Signs of spring. The hunterkilled and winter killed der always show up in spring. I carry the skull back to the car. I don't need it for teaching, but Ican't resist it.
I'mnot looking for DOCUMENTATION of signs of spring, this is not a phenolgy project. I'm looking for soemthing worthy of being called art.
Oh, no,here's a lacy red and black garter belt. And a bra. Not the same one. Reminds me of that awful story we're reading.
What I should have doneis gone to silk creek today. Well maybe.Except it does take so long.
I find wonderful clusters ofpuffballs, but thelight isn't good. They're puffy puffballs. Left from last year.
At the edge of the swamp in a din of peeper son, i look forpeeper anddon't see nay. The woodfrobs and respendant in their songas well,if the little motor sounds could be calledresplendant.
I know they're here!
3:52 I take a few pictures, one of avernal wetland with moss, one closeup of tree moss (or two0 but i don't hold out a lot of hope for them. I may have lost the trail wandering off it to take pix. Woodpecker drumming. Not that it really matters.
I wonder about the 2-hour-long dizzy spell I had and if it is related to the tumor, and in either case, if itmight recur. I'mfeeling tired frombeing up til 5 AM, but other wise, no fibro pain to speak or and no neck pain or arm pain or arthritis.
I have twice had a weird pain in my abdomen,mid left. Painful pain. Sharp. Not sinceI've been out here,but driving over.. It was gone when I got here. My concern about the dizzy spell is if it should recu when I'm out in the swamp. I couldn't even walk at home.
I've definitely lost the trail. One advantage of that is that I am unlikely to run intothat man and his boy or anyoneelse for that matter. One disadvantage is that it's very difficult to write while bushwhacking as I need my attention all the time. I'm trying to do it and keep getting poked in the shins with sharp ticks etc.
If I carried my backpack, I couldhave brought my Pat Lawler book and had a before the walk during the walk and after thewalk poem.
I've seen little to photograph. A aprk would be a more lucrative (hopeful?) venue for looking for nice sprng shots than this magled logged over swapy woods. It's not very photogenic.
Pleasant to be in. Themosquitoes hanginga round don't seem to be biting yet, and I haven't seen any black flies.
IIt's 4:00 and I've had no lunch. Of course, I did have a somewhat latebreakfast, but now I'm getting hungry.
It's sopleasing to hear the frogs. I know I keepsaying that, but after winter, snow cold,it'snice to have sunshine and frogsong.
4:13 I've arrived at drowned owl ditch. I think the loggers SHOT the owland through it in the ditch. There'san old damhereand creek at height burst around the side of the dam,rendering it useless and it wasnever repaired. There's not even a hint of a trail here any more.
I consider a photo, but why?
I'm not an archeologist andit's nogreat artistic shot, but I take one anyway.
Another project I need to do is make back-ups of my photos. Aieee, when?
Thereare somelovely shelf fugi, but bad light, half in and out of shadow.
I'm tempted to cross Drowned Owl Ditch, but I don'tknowif farther down I cna get back across
I'm on a deertrail on Owl Skull Berm. I wanted that skull, but it was too fresh when I found it (or too unfresh!) and when I came back for it, it was covered with leaves and I couldn't find it. It's pointless to look for it now.
I started a story about John Bart once, the ornithologist who walked roadwats and under radio twers pickking up dead birds and studying them He was having an affair with Kari, the mamologist studying skulls. She was walkingthe roadways looking looking for skulls and bones. They had an affair. Helived on a shelf in a closet. He alpologized for having sex with her.
I'vecometo a big blowdown and ave to fight through it orcoss on one side or the other, water on both sides. I guess I should have crossed back there.
the fallen trees are totally covered in poinson ivy which waking up and getting very dangerous (forme,anyway).
Ironically, I feel better than I've flt in a lONG time (other than tired.) I was tired and depressed and heavy sitting in the car, but I feel much MUCH better out here. That always happens,and how will it happen in Detroit???
4:34 MY cell phone beeped once to say that I'd missed a call (itnever RANG, though). I didn't recognize the number but tried calling it back incase it was Keith calling from Gail's but I got the message that the call couldn't be completed as dials.
What I did was climb down into the ditch and pick up a temporary walking stack and walk along the slopingmuddy bank UNDER the fallen trees and back up again--good thing I didn't have a dizzy spell then!
I've only had the one, but it was horrendous and scary.
There's nothing saying I have a phonemessage, so, not knowing what else to do, I continue on.
I left the berm becaus eit was nearly impssable with repeated blowdowns and haaded out looking for the trail. But it's easy to get turned around in the woods even if the sun is out. First, I come to a huge swamp, all open water. A variety of other detours, like multifloral rose, and I find myself headed deeeper into the woods. I know this and keep trying to correct for it, but keep running onto obstacles. Finally, I find a section of old trail which I think I recognize, not from this trip, but fromlong ago. I followit and sureenough,it does lead back to the trail I came in on and I'mrelieved, really. The odd thing is, how did I know that once little section of trail was what O though it was? The woods and trails out here all looksomuch alike. No reallandmoarks. And I do not think I've been on that trail for yeras.
It smells ofskunk It did when I started too,but Idon'tthink Imentioned it. Somepoorskunk awaking from hibernation probably got hit by a car.
I come to the bra hanging in the trees, and there isthelay ribboned black and red garter hung in the multifloral rose with its ribbins danging. I'm going to have to walk PAST my car because after all that, It's not 45 minutes yet! (43, though) Bushwhacking isharder workthan regular walking and also makes it harder to calculate time precisely. I decide to walk down to the lmap post, the border between Narnia (Imean 3R) and Radisson and lookat the swamp there. Tere are kids on the berm but they suddenly disappear. They're probably afraid of me.
I'm looking for
• good seasonshots for Photique (due tomorrow!)
• blurredmotion possibilitiesfor Shooting Gallery (due April 17)
I 'vealready gotmy Photo 101 beforeand after shot done and posted to BP, but not added to the gallery, it has to be added on the 5th.
I wonder where those kids went? Hiding in that car?
The swamp trail here is totallyflooded, as I assumed it would be, impassable.
I scare a muskrat!! He dashes through the swamp (swimming) away.
The peepers here are so loud, so very LOUD that it is literally hurtingmy ears.
When I stopped at the swamp where the muskrat was, I forgot to stop my watch. But since I've already walked 45 minutes now,I guess it doesn't matter.
Rge aspen catkins areall distended and handing andthere'sa mist in the aspend, but though it is pretty to the eye, it's not an appealing photo.
Robins flit through the trees.
No one is around any more. The place is uterly deserted. It was so crowded earlier. It's 5:05 and maybe they've gone home to make dinner. Timeforme to head home too.
Someone has left seedhereand asmall flock of chicdees aregorging themselves on it.
When I get in the car, I see the note from Keith that says heloves me and it makes me smile.
For my after walk patrick Lawlerpoem, I read thesame twopoem again. I read themaloud tomyself with thecar door open. A fat bearded man with red mustang pulls in, stares at meandleaves. Iwantto tell himhe can have this campsite because I'mabout to leave, but he's gone.
I think the Egaz Monizpoem is about lobotomies, icepicks through eyeball and all (eye socket), but I don't know the name. I often don't know the names. I want to look them up, but the book is in the car nad when I'm online,I forget.
A white dogs shows up without a person and sniffs aroundmy car. Someonerides by on a bike. The dog leaves wihout saying hello and i feel slightly hurt. I would notfel that way if a personwent by without saying hello. I'm used tothat. But dogs usually greet you. Another dog runs by, black. The first one was white. OK, I'd better go.
The Book Theif, Michael ? on NPR, very interesting, but it may be a difficult book.
I'm homeand I'mhungry. It's 5:36 PM and I haven't had lunch. I think I could go in an eat, but before i do, Ineed to take a lookaround for spring because --well-- Iwas going to say it'll be dark soon, but of course,daylight savings, there's anextra hour ofdaylight! I look overmy shoulder at the sun and sureenough,it's still pretty high.
I was going to do a self-portrait with the skull when I got back tothecar at 3R but I forgot. It's not as appealing to do it here,I'drather do it there where I found it. Robin singing for rain.
I readmy arriving home from walking poem about Micky Mantle and Hiroshima.
It's been warm all day but it's cooling off rapidly. I see some thin clouds have moved over the sun. A mosquito flies around inside the car. A mourning dovecoos and coos.
Since it was clearly getting darker, due to clouds moving in, I changed lenses and took some more pictures of daffodils.
--
I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats
Mary
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