Thursday, August 10, 2006

At the Quarry and Goat-N

060809 Quarry 2 Wednesday, August 9, 2006, 1:14 PM

I am in the quarry that Sara and I went to onSunday morning. Mary Nicky is very happy. Mary Nicky, for those infidelswho haven't met her yet, is my inner child, usually around age 10. Or 11 or 12. Mary Nicky LOVES to explore, its one of her favorite things to do (she has lots of favorites, but clearly exploring is one of the best. And this quarry is HUGE with LOTS of trails all over, many layers, old abandoned buildings and ruins, interestingf lora and fauna. Mary Nicky would like tospend the day here wandering around but some bigmeany (Big Mary) says we have to go back and get to work. Mary Nicky is particularly unfond of working. She's rather play.

Mary Nicky loves the many hidden places, the twists and turns, the piles and cliffs (she loves the cliffs!).

We jsut saw one of thosegiant wasps, the cicada eating wasps,and we took as good a look at it as we dared, MN and I (I'm big Mary today, sad to say.) And we decided that it is NOT golden all over,it just looks that way from the rapid wingbeats, and that it is indeed one of thoseCicada eating wasps Sara sentus thelink to. That solves that question, at elast tentatively. We might be wrong, but it sure looks like it.

Eeyore isn't working, at all. We're carrying tons of lenses and equipment that we cab't use. And Nikki is essentially useless out here with no viewfinder. Nikki is an indoor camera, worthless outside. When I try tolook at the screen, all I see,literally ismy own face. UGH!

What I am doing is point Nikki in the geral direction of whatever Iwant to captureand pushing the button. There's NO framing involed at all.

Some guy, young guy on amountain bikejust roade by carrying a shovel. His whole body was vovered with tatoos and his blackhair was sort of ratty looking, He had a pleasant face, but he avoided looking atme and rode into the rough stuff off the trail even though I stepped to the side to let himpass.

The cicadas 9or going crazy. It was wonderfully cool last night, but it's supposed to be 88-90 this afternoon.

I parked in the lot that goes with the building where Erin works and walked over here past the SU research center parking area etc.

I am on my way back even though Mary Nicky wanted to stay longer. I promised her we'd try to come again,mabe many times when we visit Mom and explore the area more fully.

Now Iam out in the questionable area between the quarry and Erin's work. I feel a little less concerned now,becauseif they tell me to elave, I'll just leave,which is what I want to do anyway.

It turned out to be easy to get here from Loretto. I'd comeup this way before,but when I saw the guard houses and street closed signs, I got nervous and left. This time, I kept coming and no one stopped me. So,if I amke it safely back to the car and thecar has not been ticketed or towed, I can try it again next time.

YAY. Mary Nicky says, "Can we visit Mommy tomoorw? and then go explore?"

"No, I tell her,wehave too much work to do."

"YuK!" shesays, I'drather play."

So would I of course, since Mary Nicky is a bigpart of who I am. But Iwantto be with Keith and Graham, be moved, be done at the house. So I have to bit the bulelt and buckle down.

But first, dang it, I have to have lunch, shop, take care of the garbage etc etc. Then I have to work onmy State Fair pictures.

I have ONE mostly done,onepartly done,and two not done at all. AK! After all that, they may not even get accepted.

1:38 Iamback to my car which hasnotbeen towed orticketed, and that's goodnewsbecauseitmeansI cando itagain.

I walked 48 minutes, which is not bad. Only 3 extra minutes over unfamiliar ground.

I HATE the spacebar on Psions!

I was just thinking of the things that my narration probably does not even begin to convey: the brillian unescapable sunshine and reflected light atthe quarry (Keithmight not like that), the green andyellow greens of the vegetation,the expanses of rock and gravel, the painted abandonedbuildings brilinatly colored in the somewhat sterile lanscape, the intersecting trails andthe terraces of rock and gravel. Old quarries are such interesting areas. The rusted machinery, the old power lines and old signs.

Old quarries are not necessarily helthyenvironemtnally,but they are interesting.

2:22 PM (really.) I just arrived home. It took me longer than it should have because I drove back Jamesvilleto Ainsley to Brighton,only to discover the on ramp to 81 was closed and I had to go all the way back andget on at Colvin. And THEN,when I was most of the way home, I remebered that I had wanted to go to Commercial art supply. WAHN. But it's 2:25 and I haven't hadlunch and Iam really really HUNGRY.

I am cooking a frozen hamburger left from one of Keith's spaghetti batches. I have to shop. I'mout of food--no meat, fish, fruit, vegetables etc.

While the hamburger was cooking,Imadeseven trips to the curb with onelarebag of trash, 4recycling bins,and two extra loads of recylcing bags.

I am thinking that even if I'd bought lunch, I might have saved money by going to Commercial art and nothaving to drive back there. My hamburger is frozen in themiddle andburnt on the outside when I comeback in. I eat itanyway, I'm hungry.

Actually, I guessitis not going to be that hot today,they say,not that it is cool. And Friday it is supposed to be "crisp."

And I carry out a fifth recycling bin. And I carry out a box of stuff to go to Detroit.

3:42 PM I just sorted another bag of recycling and carried it outto the curb.. It's not what I want tobe doing. I wnat to be working on my art and photography for the state fair. But today is trash day and it seemslike I should domy best to get as much as possible out of the house. It makes it easier to see what remains to be done. Each one of those bags,and there are a lot of them now, at least 13 that I can see clearly from here, repesents an hour or two ormore of sorting. It'snot that much stuff. But it'sthe best I can do.

Meanwhile, poet CK Williams is on the radio aspart of aprogram on arts and 911.

4:09 PM I justcarried out a fourteenth bag of sorted recycling. It was abag I'dbeen sorting in the livingroom and was already half to 3/4 full when I started on it, and I stuffed some gift boxes in it andthen sat and sorted more stuff. It's the sorting that's slow. I completed sorting another box of stuff. I don't want to be sorting but tomorrow morning they will be coming for the trash. Dang though, State fair receiving daysbegin TOMORROW. I really need to prepare my work. AK! What to do??? What to do?? I don't know how long the prep will take for the pix. Icons and images took a LONG time!

I feel suddenly a little sad. I'mtrying so hard tobe good,to work hard,andwhatdo I get for it? Apile of garabage! And Marguerite says to me, "do you think you'll be done in a week?" That's what I keep getting frompeople. It's very disheartening.

I'm sorry. :-( Taking out the garbage just is NOT fun, and doinbg it seven days a week is even less fun!

Thursday,August 10, b2006, 6:26 PM Iam out walking. It will be tight gettingback by timeto talk to Keith and Graham. I wishwalking walking fasterwould solve the problem,but, as I'vementionedbefore,it does not.

The sun has already set. The sky is pinkandornageand salmonint he west and the clouds are blue and multiple shadesof grey. They are testured in tinyclumos, a rather uncommon sky.And hereand there nitsof smears of smaller puffs,fractal-like sections fromthelargerpuffs. Ebven the largeones aresmall relativeto normal clouds.

I should work onmy novel,butIhaven't had timetoconsiderandappropriate 1 inch squarewindow. I consider havingfound the journal I keptat the crash pad and various other places to be a big help with the timeline,but ofcourse, Idon'thave it withme.

I love Janine'sblog andwould likeperhaps towrite some blog entries like hers,but it seems thatwriting soemthing that good and thatthoughtful would takemoretimethan I have available.

I'vebeen thinking about theending of the Goat bovel. Right now, Iam intendingtoend it when Strom goes back to school full time. At ESF. It's theend ofanera and thebeginning of a newlife. But it continues to afect Stromthroughout the upcoming years. There is noeasy dividing place.

In real life,I divorcedPeter, or hedivorced me,whenhe wantedtoarry patty. THat happened,I believe, when I was already at ESF. It ws twoto three years after we split up, afterpeterleft with Patty on the crosscountrytripandI stayed gratefully behind.

In thenovel, I think I wouldlike Storm to get the diivorcepapers int hemail the days she starts school at ESF as a symbol of the cutting of ties andbeginningof a wholenewlife. I would likeher tomeet Chris, Craig and Raythefirst day,as anecho ofmeeting thegoat clanpeoplethe first day at SKU. Instead of Eric the Flasher, she'll get invited to stomping, and told thatwill mean hiking in the woods, and object to the idea of stompingflowers, and find this new groupintersting and the book willend with them about to walk into cemetery ,anothersymbol of theendingand tet, thebeginning. Therehas to flowers and happiness and hope. Closings andopenings.

OK, well, thtareaffirms the endingof goatandleaves open awholenew spacefor another verydifferent book.

ont heother hand, JimAlexander seemslikesomething out of the otd story. A sort of uglyextendion of that,whichalmost seemstoneed to ebin there. Butthtaelaves the story open-enedagain,whichisnotsi bad. Or,thenew novel could be aboust abuse and Jim could be thefirst instanceof that. But Peter was Storm'sfirst abuser,so what about that?

well, the newnovel couldbackgtrack alittle,or useflashbacks.

q BeforeIcan really write thegoat novel,itneeds a container, a timeframe. Ido liektheidea of framing itover theperiodfrom starting onecollegeto thenext.

I need that book Erin gave me how to writeasamn goodnovel,LOL. Only thatkindof novel is notneceesarily thekindof novelthat Iwantto write. That is anaction novel Idowant action and conflict, and thereis lots of it. Butalso taestry and character.

Like TC Boyle'sdrop City, only different, onlymyversion of it.. But not really, because there will be more than oncecommune thatrises and falls.

For the sake of the novel,itcouldbe,like drop City,onemobile commune,the Goat Commune, moving about with Storm as the seedstone. That wouldn'tbe that far from thetruthof it.

Someone diesin Drop City and someone does inmy book, too. Heis theacid pusher and peacemaker. The bigsmile. Thereislittle about himthat sets himup asthe oneto die.

There are somany chgaracter, such a total pagentry ofcjaracters whoenter stormslife,but forthenovel,they have to be whittled down and combined. Iemtntioned earlier the improtnace of having some continuity, some continuous characters. Theone who dies needs to comeearly and be important, at leastto some extent.

I'mhaving somehealth issues I rarely have inB'ville andusally onlly have in Detroit. The currentoneis theneedto go to the bathroomwhile I'mwalking and I hiope I make it safely home.

I've walked 35minutes,andImay have to cutmywalkshort to go in and usefacilties and if so, I won'thave time to go back out.

First, I have to get home.

OK,back to the dead guy.Why is there a dead uy in all my books? Well,this is a real guy who diedand itfits inthe story. But unless I rearrnage theelemnts, it doesn'tfit inas well asin TC Boyle's book.

Then trhere's a dead girl. For real. She ODed on heroine. Only about 19 yearsold. Shelived with us.

She was rich Jeweish "pincess",small,pretty,vicacious,nice.

I pass somepeople with a dog walking the other way. Theywalk out aroundme. Iamon the correct sideof the road. They are not.

No one seems to knowany morehow to park at parking metersor which side of the road to walk on or even how to properly use a toielt.

There are cars racing at thefulton Speedway, I can hear them real It doesn't look that low.

ly well, so the ceiling must be really low tonight

None of my dead people aregoing to die in a plane crash in Alaska,proving how stupid and naivehippes were.

I walked 44 and a half minutes,not too bad, I canlive with taht. I could walk up and down the stairs for 30 second

Deathhs:

Nancy ODedon Heroine

what's his name was shot outsde the Wescott Street Grocery store strying to break up a fight That really ahppened. Both really happened.

Thenthere is Luke falling out of thedormwindowandsurving--but being brain damaged.

I can't remember the guy who gots hot'ss name. I haven't been able to remeber it for along time. I don't need to though. I cnagive hima name.

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