Tuesday, August 7, 2007 I had to start a new file because my other one got corrupted, though I hadn't finishd my trains of thought.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007, 8:09 PM I am out walking. Keith is working on the car. Both cars are "disabled" which is bad. Mine was off the road because of insurbce issues, but now that it's insured again, it might be OK to drive it, but it is registerd in NY and insured in Michigan. His car has a gas leak, very dangerous, and he's been under the car for two evenings.
Graham is coming home at 8:30 to practice the piano and then go back to Robert's for a sleepover. I want to be home by 8:30 to be sure that Graham does his practicing, then I will have to go out and walk again. Late. Which will interfere with reading Harry Potter. I was trying to leave and Biker Buddy was telling m about his problems fixing the car and I finally had to cut him off and tell him that if I didn't leave, Iw ouldn't be abl to walk because I wanted to be back at 8:30, but this walk actually takes a little longer than the available time so I may be late. And biker Buddy is quitting soon to go get groceries. I've been walking to the store nearly every day this week, but I can't carry that much back when I walk and I didn't make it there and we're out of milk, bananas and apples. Since th cars are off the road, he'll have to go on th mortocycle which means that he won't be able to carry much.m If you can't carry much, you have shop often and tat takes more tiem than getting everything at once.
It's a little cooler and a little humid tonight than it's been for the last week. Phew, thank goodness. But the cicads are still going nuts.
I've been writing more than I have time to process or deal with, as usual.
I walk by an attractive but harried looking woman. Wails of rag or pain are emerging from her house. She's trying to unload groceries and some kid needs soemthing.
Sigh.
I ate too much for dinner. I made metaloaf and homemade bread. A vegetable mixture and baked oiled potatoes with garlic. And pancakes with strawberries and blue berries. I shoved mine in (ugh, too muc\ but Biker Buddy couldn't finish his.
8:23 PM I am on the home stretch now, but it's a long home stretch. Already I am wondering if I'll make it by 8:30, if Piano boy will show up at 8:30 and if he'll be starving and need to eat and delay e from the second half of my walk.
I go by a colorful mix of Petunias and think longingly and wistfully of my Mom, who I miss!
I see Elseppe, one of Piano boy's friends, riding by on a bike and we exhange greetings. He's a cute kid.
That gets me thinking about how Piano Boy wouldn't ride the "ghetto bike" even though his bike was stolen and his friends are so far away that it's difficult for him to get there on foot. It occurs to me that I couldn't just drive him, I'd have to take him on the motrcycle. No available cars!
I was thinking about coolness. Who's really cool? Not the kids who's afraid he won't fit in, but the one with so much Charisma and confidence that he could ride the "ghetto bike" and make a joke of it and maybe even start a fad. Everyone would think that because he's cool, whatever he does is cool.
I was never that person.
BUT if you can't be that person, and be cool by being yourself, then the next best option is to be yourself and be uncool. A hard choice for a teenager, I realize, but I guess you can measure your maturity and deep coolness by how much yourself you're willing to be.
Which brings me to another topic, influences. I have noticed throughout my life that I am easily influenced and even sawyed by other people when they are convincing for whatever reason. I have a pretty good grasp on some of my beliefs, and in fact may be a little overly opinionated. There are other things, though, that I feel uncertain about and when I hear pople discussing them on NPR or BBC, for example, some of that they say seems reasonable, even when they are on the "wrong" side of the fence."
Some of what I believe:
• I believe in goodness, rightness, honorable behavior, telling the truth
• I believe in love and in the power of love, in caring and kindness
• I believe in "saving the earth," in being environmentally friendly
• I believe in NOT killing children (no bombing civilians)
• I also believe in not killing babies. This is a very touchy point and it places me squarely on the "wrong" side of the fence from most of my other beliefs and my closest friends. I'm not so rabid about it that I think it's essential in every instance. Things need to be weighed and measured. But I do not believe in casual abortion by lazy people.
• I do believe in adoption
• I do believe in ambiguity. I do NOT believe in black and white. Nothing in life is that simple.
• I believe in Education.
• I believe in creativity.
• I believe in FREEDOM, but you can't FORCE freedom down someone's throat. I WANT to be free. But there is no such thing as freedom without responsibilty.
• I believe in being responsible.
• I believe in play.
• I believe in the importance of rest.
• I believe in the importance of cultural exchange
• I believe in diversity.
• I believe in equality under the law for all people, women, gays, all races, religions and creeds.
• I believe in INCLUSIVENESS, not exclusiveness. I believe in EMBRACING not ignoring.
• I believe in tolerance. I do NOT believe in being judgemental.
Now that I am writing this down, I think I've written all this before, recently. If so, I apologize.
I'd also like to point out that even though I believe in all this, I'm not that great at DOING it. I don't call this hypocrisy, I call it human failing. I'm less than perfect, folks, in case you haven't noticed.
10:07 PM I am out walking again, finally. It's gotten dark and the cicadas ar gone and the crickets are singing and their song rises and falls in a cadence. I know you can tell the temperture by the cadence of the cricket song but I don't rmemeber the formula.
I cross the street. It took me 21 minutes to walk this loop earlier, and I neeed 24 more minutes of walking minimum. I am wondering if crossing the street and walki8ng the outer loop instead of the inner one is enough longer to make up 3 more minutes. Porbably not, especially if I have to run becaus some teenage idiots are trying to run me down and shouting out the window at me.
Walking the outer loop means, if I walk it all, that I will ave to cross the street TEN times instead of not at all. once over, twice at each corner )there are four, and once back. But that doesn't add that much distance, just more time and frustartion, since some of the roads are very busy. I may not cross them all. That is, at mack, I may cross to the inner side of the circle because Mack is a four=lane with lots of traffic.
Atleast I remembered my headlmap this time, but not the one with the red light, which is better for dark adaption.
A bicycle spins by on the dark street and I just see the reflections of the wheels and a few spinning spokes and darknss. No person.
Actually, Mack is a 6=lane here.
Nadine asked me to design a banner for her and the idea excites me. I wonder which blog or both and what she has in mind. I have so much to do, but I love creative challenges.
There are even cars coming at me in the alleys.
I did cross all six lanes of Mack Twice, and there are aditional side roads and alleys I forgot to count. And I got followed by a security guy, maybe because of my headlamp. I just kept walking and when Iw as out of his range, he bugged off.
My watch just hit 45 and I atill have at elats a minute to go. Crossing Mack did the trick.
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